For Whom the Gun Tops

I just saw the new Top Gun movie, and I have to say it’s the most exhilarating, engrossing, spectacular movie about counting that I’ve ever seen. 

For those unfamiliar with the Top Gun franchise, these movies are essentially about expensive counting equipment and the men who pilot them. It’s a very difficult job to pilot these things, mostly involving looking at a bunch of numbers and saying things like “almost there” or “I’m out” or “we’re running low.” They take only the finest pilots, and sure enough, they are incredibly reliable both at counting up, but also at counting down.

TOP GUN: MAVERICK is particularly excellent because you get to watch both Top Gun movies at the same time. They replay the best bits of the first one throughout, and show off all the nicest photos, and bring back a bunch of the same characters so they can say things like, “Oh boy, remember that first movie? Those were the days.”

You not only get double the movies, but you also get double the characters. Each character has an alter ego, or what pilots call a “callsign,” which is their Dungeon and Dragons name. You have Pete Mitchell (“Maverick”), who is the main character, who has to train a new generation of pilots, including Bradley Bradshaw (“Rooster”), Natasha Trace (“Phoenix”), and Bob (“Bob”), while under the watchful eye of Solomon Bates (“Warlock”) and Admiral Beau Simpson (“Level 14 Half-Orc Barbarian”). 

Again, it’s the best movie about counting (up, or down) that I’ve ever seen, and that includes SPEED. If you want to watch a movie that has a deck full of grown men cheering, clapping, and hugging while the music soars, and then saluting, and then hugging again for good measure, TOP GUN: MAVERICK is for you.

This article first appeared in the Duzett Gazette, the really official newsletter of Carl Duzett. Sign up here to get more content like this in your inbox, as well as some other content that isn’t quite like it, but is probably also good.

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